How to get your own girl “stalker”: part two

I went to bed that night obsessing over what Aidan may or may not have seen while I was carousing with Bil on Thursday:
Ohmygod, you’re such a moron.  Why did you even answer the phone that night?  You were supposed to be going to bridge class with your freaking roommates but you skipped out because [...]

How to get your own girl “stalker”: Part One

I don’t wish to diminish the horror a real stalking victim endures by assigning that word to my experience, so please bear with my use of quotation marks.

Senior year of college was all about the drama.  I lived with three other women who I lovingly referred to as “the last three virgins on campus.”  An exaggeration, [...]

How to get your own girl “stalker”: Prelude

The “girl stalker” referenced in the title of this upcoming series had the following quotation in her e-mail signature:  No one can make you feel inferior without your permission  –Eleanor Roosevelt.  I can’t believe I still remember that. 
I was inspired to write my recollection of the whole ugly affair after I was turned on to the girl [...]

Gay Bikes From Your Sister

I got a red Schwinn bicycle for Christmas when I was in Kindergarten.  For his Kindergarten Christmas, my younger brother Jamie got an identical blue Schwinn, with that crazy boy bar added.  (Why is that there again?  It just seems counter-intuitive to stick a bar where it’s almost sure to come in contact with boys’ tender nether [...]

All Snarky Websites Go to Heaven

First Trainwrecks.net went poof, now theinsult.com.  And the stupid website best known for lame photoshopping is either taking credit or  mourning right along with me.  Who can tell?   
In honor of Trainwrecks’ second coming’s passing, I would like to recount a few of the valuable life lessons I learned while participating in both these highly evolved communities:
1.)  Lack [...]

Sour Milk

The first night of my home stay in rural Zimbabwe was jarring, and yet surprisingly homey.  My Peace Corps trainers had educated me on some Zimbabwean customs that might come into play.  The one I feared most was that  I might have to sit on the floor and eat with the women and children from a communal plate while the men sat [...]

Where does the time go?

It seemed like only days ago I was writing about PMS and yet my fledgling attempts at self-awareness indicate that its back.  The rest of the week shoud be fun.
Oooh, realtime PMS diaries.  I can’t wait. 

Mega Millions

I bought my first lottery ticket yesterday.  Standing in line, adrenaline pumping, dopamine hitting all the pleasure centers of my brain, I understood why people buy them.  It felt good.  It was an escape from everyday life.  For a few hours, I allowed myself to think about the big tips I would give at restaurants, [...]

Thank you note to my generous friends, the oenophiles

So, last night I came home and found a crate and barrel box on my back porch.  I was surprised and excited and opened it immediately.  I tore and unravelled and rolled and finally came face to face with one of the wine glasses we’re always drinking from when you entertain us with your lavish [...]