Political Boners of the Day

Keith Olbermann and Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson.
Give ‘em hell.

Milk Stomach Explosions

I love the stats page from wordpress.  Today I learned that someone had my page translated into german yesterday, and (perhaps more curiously) that someone stumbled across this page while googling “milk stomach explosions.” 
So happy to provide a portal for boning up on that topic.  Sad that there are now THREE posts here dealing with overconsumption of [...]

Dogs? Bite Me!

Thrice, in fact.  Last night I got my most recent.  No scars this time, but COME ON!  I feel like I’m gonna crap my pants every time a dog comes within 5 feet of me. 
I like dogs as much as the next girl, but people, listen to Bob Barker and neuter your precious little monsters.  [...]

Gallon Challenge update

I got a few comments and some e-mails regarding the disgusting post I wrote recently about drinking a gallon of milk in an hour or some such nonsense.
 It has come to my attention that this practice is not simply an anomaly that occurs from time to time on college campuses across the country.  No, there [...]

Fuck the dumb shit

I recently purchased Subversive Cross Stitch.  My favorite pattern so far is the phrase (you guessed it) “fuck the dumb shit.”
Can I get a witness?

Marge Schott’s Big Effing Saint Bernard

My father got transferred to Southwest Ohio just before my Junior year of high school.  I got cut from the soccer team at my new school, quite to my shock, as I’d started every game since I made varsity as a frosh. 
That left me with quite a gap in my social calendar.  I tried out [...]

That’s what the disposal is for!

Twice my parents allowed me to travel out of state with a Roman Catholic priest who was later defrocked for reasons rumored to be related to inappropriate contact with adolescent girls.  Both times, I puked hours before setting off with said priest. 
Happily, nothing untoward happened to me on either trip, in fact, I had a [...]

Vertical Treadmill

I took up rock climbing on New Year’s Day 2006.  I got a gym membership soon after, and haven’t looked back.  Unfortunately, I’ve had little opportunity to get on real rock, so off to the gym two or three times per week.
It’s a completely different crowd from any gym I’ve ever gone to, and yet [...]

Macaca: copy to Senator Allen

Dear George Allen,
There’s really no good way to spin your recent “macaca” debacle.  As I see it, you can cop to one of the following excuses, and to be honest, none of them makes you look very good:
1.)  You’re a racist and a petty prig
2.)  You’ve got a few racists with stellar vocabularies on your staff and the big [...]

Spilt Milk

If anyone ever offers you $10 for simply attempting to drink an entire gallon of milk in one hour, or even one sitting, please refuse.  You’ll thank me.
The same advice goes for offers of $10,000 or $10,000,000.  Happily, I don’t know this from personal experience, but I have it on good authority from a primary [...]